WHO KNEW!?!?!

Wow, Who knew this would be so HARD? Who knew there would be so many decisions? I have had a constant headache for the past three days. THIS IS HARD!!! There is so much to this process. I never thought we would get pre-approved, so I didn't do much research before. Research on what agency we would choose, or where we would like to adopt from. We knew the age range we wanted, and we knew we wanted a boy, THAT'S IT! Choosing an agency is so hard!! Choosing the right agency is everything, it can make the process go fast, slow, easy or hard. The agency will be the hardest decision we will make! FEES, FEES, FEES: THERE ARE SO MANY FEES TO JUST GET STARTED, BEFORE YOU CAN APPLY FOR GRANTS!
                 I'm so overwhelmed!! Agency 1: Has several great reviews for Guatemala. People who have adopted from Guatemala can't say enough good things about them. Then they have reviews from people who have used them to adopt from Russia. They all have given horrible reviews on the same agency. They  have no reviews from Ghana because they just started the Ghana program in Feb. We will be one of the first working with them in Ghana. The lady answers my phone calls and emails any time day or night within mins. She was the first one to write us back and the agency who preapproved us for Ghana. But from the start I have had an unsure feeling with them. Agency 2: The lady has been so helpful, she has sent me emails on how to fund the adoption, grants, programs, I feel comfortable with her and I trust her my heart tells me to choose this agency. HOWEVER: I have only found 2 reviews and they both were bad..REALLY BAD.
Agency 3: has a few reviews that are all excellent. BUT they are about $6,000 more than the others.  To be honest I do not  have any interest working them I feel no connection and the few times I emailed them i felt like I was being a bother.
           Sooo..after a major meltdown and crying like my dog died for about 30 mins, I am going to email a lady that a friend referred me to at a different agency. This agency works with several countries, and provides a photolisting for all of the countries they work with. We don't have to agree to any country and wait for a child to be referred to us or only see children from one country. THIS EXCITES ME!  Instead of being closed minded, and insisting on Ghana we are going to step back and let God lead the way. Perhaps this is why the process has already been such a challenge..Perhaps God has other plans and we aren't listening. I'm not going to stress and worry right now about Who, What, Where. Right now we have to start getting money saved and funding started. I have been told by all 3 of the above agency's and a good friend that we need 2,000 to start. That will be enough to file an application when god leads us to our child and enough for the homestudy. After we have filed the application and have a completed homestudy we can start filling out grants. Which I have been told, it will be down hill here from there. I have been reassured that this is the hardest part, to stop thinking so much and let God lead the way..

Finding A Way

Well, very few of you know but Tony and I are tring to adopt. We found out today that we were pre approved to adopt in Ghana. We have our princess and our hope is to bring the love we share with her to another child who has never experienced the little moments we take for granted everyday. By American standards we are considered to live in poverty, because we make less than 30,000 a year. We have a clothes, house, 2 vehciles, pets, and food on our table 3 times a day. We are richer than 75% of the world. We have money in the bank very little but we do that makes us among the top 8% of the worlds wealthy. Even on our sickest days we are healthier than 1 million people who will not survie this week! How on earth can we as American be classified as being in poverty? We may not have a lot of money but we are wealthy, and blessed beyond most of our understanding! I can remember sitting on my grandma's lap and telling her I was going to adopt kids at a very young age. God has always made me aware that this was his plan for me.

So lets be honest, us adopting a child from another country seems total unreasonable! Our checking account has very little money in it and we are behind a truck payment, why on earth would we even consider adopting a child right?!? I don't have an answer other than my heart i feel like it's time. Starting today there are things that must change in order to make this dream a reality and to bring this little boy home. I have no idea what I am doing or how this process even works, but with a great friend and God walking me through each step of the way I know we will do this. Money: It cost more than my husband makes in an entire year to adopt this child. We will have to be creative and save every penny (literally); have yard sales, fund raisers, bake sales, apply for grants, no careless shopping, ext. It will be a lifestyle change for us, to save enough money to bring him home. I know if its meant to be it will find a way, I am not worried.  Im a firm believer that if God brings us to it, he will bring us through it. With him and everyones support and encouragement we can make this happen!