Where to begin? Typically when I sit down to write these blogs I have something exciting to share, kinda feels weird not having any "news" to write about. Friday we had appointments to go get our shots for over sea travel, because of the event that unfolded we decided to wait on them. We went to Alabama anyway and enjoyed a nice quiet weekend with the family. I must say it was a very nice weekend, the entire time down there I couldn't help but think about all our new friends we met b/c of Noah. I pray we can still keep contact with them.
After our initial shock and heartbreak baby girl has been the hardest to explain things to. Surprisingly she took it very well. Wednesday night during bedtime prayers I didn't pray for Noah. She said "mommy you forgot somebody!" I said "Noah? Mommy has something to tell you about Noah. Every night we pray Jesus will let Noah know he has a mommy, daddy and sister that loves him very much, right? Well, something cool happened!" Her face lite up and she said what?!?! I explained to her that Jesus found Noah's mommy and daddy. The lady that carried him in her belly. That they took him home so that they could have their little boy. That our prayer helped Noah find his mommy and daddy. Her face dropped and big crocodile tears came down her face and she said so hes not coming to be with us? I said no but right now as we say our bedtime prayers Jesus's is finding you a new brother. I said do you want to pray that he finds you a new brother? She said, "no thank you," gave me a goodnight kiss, rolled over and went to sleep. That as hard, her heart was broke!!!! Through the weekend we prayed Jesus would find her a new brother, but tonight she got me again. Before we started bedtime prayers she told me she wanted to pray for her picture she colored at school. I said OK what do you want to say about it? She said "that it comes true, that it will be me you and my brother all at baby Lucy's. I said "It will come true we just have to be patient. I bet Jesus already has you a brother picked out, and i can not wait to see him can you?" She said well mommy..I REALLY MISS NOAH! Her eyes started watering again. All I could say was me too, and continued with her bedtimes prayer. Tonight though she prayed Noah was happy and safe with his family, and that Jesus would find her brother soon. That's little girl has a pure heart of gold, everyday she amazes me!!
Great thing about road trips is you have time to think and talk about whats on your mind. Which this trip we had a lot to think and talk about. After a lot of thinking and talking to my husband and other families this has happen to by the same orphanage I have many concerns. This is not easy to get over. His little face keeps popping up everywhere in our house, car, computers, pinterest, phone..everywhere! It's hard to move on when you see that adorable smiling face everywhere, but I am at peace with knowing there is not a single thing that i could have done to change what happen. I have done something everyday since we found that sweet little boy to make sure we could bring him home as soon as possible. I very much so believe everything happens for a reason. I believe this reason is to bring attention to what is happening at that orphanage with the people who spend so much time and money there supporting it. Maybe they can be the change that will help other families from the heartbreak of loosing their child.
I would say back to square on one but I don't guess that would be right. I'm not sure what is the hold with our homestudy being completed but it should be complete any day now. Now i have to finish getting things ready to turn in with our dossier and wait for a new referral. Since all the hard stuff is over once we get one, it should move pretty fast I would think..but then again I have no idea what the good Lord has up his sleeve for us next! Our motto for our process has been "Gotta have Faith" from the start, and it will continue to be. We are not giving up or backing down because things got tough, If god sees us to it he will see us through it! I know with all my heart God has a plan for our family and I can not wait to see his master plan reveled <3
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