We were beyond excited! The trip was taken care of now for the important things here stateside, MY BABIES here. I believe Logan was 3 weeks old and Bri had to be a school every day. The search was on. I trust VERY few people with my babies. Of those few people the one that were physical able to meet the demands of a newborn and transport needs of Bri limited to even fewer. Again, family a few trusted friends came together. HONESTLY, the people that have stepped up and walked with us in this process have become more than friends they are now my family and I COULDN'T imagine my life without them. Our missional community group is amazing and now a part of our family. HA YOUR STUCK WITH US WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!! LOL!! Everything was working out so perfect and i knew we were going to file paperwork so we could proceed with the adoption and get our sweet boy home, but it felt like there was something missing! I felt like we were going for more just didn't have a clue what it was.
FINALLY my babies are taken care of the trip cost is taken care of we are ready to go!! We made lists checked it twice nothing was missing we left in 5 days!! Nothing was missing expect the 2 THINGS WE NEEDED TO ENTER THE COUNTRY!! Our Visas and yellow fever card!! The problem was you can't get Visa until you get the yellow card!! AHHHH!! WHAT THE CRAP! ARE YOU SERIOUS!! On top of that our POA had sent me a text saying we needed to come up with money so we could fly to the town our son was it if we wanted to see him. You have got to be kidding me! Does he think we have a money tree?!? We weren't going all the way to Ghana and not meeting our son. At this point i was so done with asking people for help financially, i was embarrassed that i had forgotten the two most important things. SO again i get on Facebook this time i sent a private email. I only told a select few that have followed our adoption from the start and again asked for help. Of course God provided, we were going on this trip he was making it clear! (Friday before we left) I called the Passport health office told them the situation. They told us come in as soon as tony got off of work they would stay open and wait for us. If we missed this appointment we would have to reschedule our flights. So Tony got home at 3:45, we made it to his moms in Rockport to drop the kids off at 4ish then drove as fast as we could to the Passport health office. We made just a few mins after 5. WHEW PRAISE GOD FOR NO SPEEDING TICKETS OR WRECKS! They were so nice gave us our shots and yellow fever card. Now the only thing we needed to do was get our Visa application in the mail.
Saturday 3 days until we left: We got up early went to Wal-Greens and took our passport photos and headed to the post office. Thank goodness my father in law was working! I knew everything would done right as long as he was there. Guess what...THE POST OFFICE WAS ALREADY CLOSED!!! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!! The devil had his game face on and was doing everything he could to stop this trip! Remember i just said my father in law was working. What a blessing that was! I just stood there in front of the locked post office doors, tears in my eyes. I was done. I was giving up everything from the time I received that letter had been a struggle. When I got back to the car Tony saw the hurt and disappointment on my face. Then his phone rang. It was his dad! He said he was still there to come on in and he would go one and take care of us and get it sent off. I couldn't believe this was happening so i got up took all of our papers and ran in. We got our Visa over nighted they were guaranteed back Tuesday at 12.
Tuesday noon the mail ran no passports. I freaked out! I got online the tracking number we had wasn't correct. I called the Houston office. They did not have our passports there. THEY WERE LOST!! We were leaving the next morning and they were lost!! I got on the phone and called the travel agent who booked our tickets. I told him we were going to need to rebook on his voicemail but to please call me before he cancelled anything. As soon as i hung up the phone Tony's dad called his phone, HE HAD OUR PASSPORTS!! They came i after our carrier had left!! All of the chaos was exhausting and kept waiting for something to go wrong!
Wednesday October 30 We got up took Bri to school as normal kisses her goodbye and cried like fools as we drove away. I already missed her like crazy! We went home finished packing our things for the trip double checked and made sure we had everything and waited for mom to come pick us up!
11:30 am we were off to the airport! We were really on our way to Ghana for the first time to see me sweet boy! I couldn't wait i was nervous. I wondered what he would think about me? Will it be that perfect picture of instant love you see on the movies where he would come running at me with his arms open? Did he know we were coming? Oh, I hoped he was as excited to see us as we were him!
Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do
not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes
with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”
Monday, March 31, 2014
WHAT THE CRAP!! Part 1
Two days isn't nearly enough time in the hospital once you have a baby! With Bri we left the hospital right at 24 hours later, and i was happy we only had a few days before Tony went overseas. However, i must say having your meals brought to you not having dishes to clean up and sending the baby down the hall when you want to sleep or take a bath it was kinda nice! However, all great things come to an end and before i knew it was time for us to go home. Honestly, i was ready to get used to our new addition and new routine as a family of four in our home. Actually going home wasn't so bad at all our church set up for dinner to be delivered the first 2 weeks we were home. That was such a blessing!
I don't remember the exact time from being home from the hospital until I received the "email" from the Ghana embassy. Remember my friend had assured me we had nothing to worry about, that the next email we would get should be our i-600 approval if we had all supporting evidence. Well, that is not the email i received. The email i received said.....(piece from actual email)
Thank you for your e-mail.
Physical presence at some point is essential to the jurisdiction of the overseas post. The adoptive parents must actually be “physically present” in country for their Form I-600 to be considered properly “filed.” However, if the adoptive parents wish to file through their Power of Attorney (POA), they may send the completed form and evidence to their POA who must submit them in person on their behalf. They need to make sure that in support of the petition, evidence is attached showing that they have already been to Ghana at some point during the adoption process or state that they will be in Ghana before a determination is made by USCIS Accra.
As previously stated, physical presence at some point is essential to the jurisdiction of the overseas post. USCIS Accra WILL NOT make a determination on the petition if the adoptive parents have not been physically present at some point during the adoption process.
WHAT THE CRAP DOES THAT MEAN?!?! I CLEARLY SEE WHAT IT SAYS BUT I COULD NOT ACCEPT WHAT I WAS READING!! WE HAD NOT BEEN TO GHANA!! WE HAD NOT MET OUR SWEET BOY YET!! WHAT THE CRAP WERE WE GOING TO DO!! WHAT THE CRAP!!!!
So what do you do in the time of crisis? You cry, you pray, you cry, you pray, you throw up, because you realize that your adoption has come to an abrupt stop until you get to his country and meet him. You realize that you just had a baby your husband just went back to work, you have no money in savings, can barely afford to pay your bills. You realize only God himself will make it possible for you to go. So what do you do? You get on Priceline and you look at booking plane tickets. PANIC!!! Not only have you just been told your adoption has come to an abrupt stop until you get to Ghana, but now Priceline is telling you that if you don't book the next week tickets will double in price! WHAT THE CRAP!!! I am very good with going with the flow, keeping God at the center and trusting his timing in everything. So to me it seemed like God was being direct and demanding "GO, GO NOW"! So you cry, you pray and you get on Facebook, you tell what has just happen and you beg, for anyone who can help to help. The response was amazing and nothing short of God's work.
PSALM 34:17 The LORD hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles.
A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!! Our friends, family and church heard the desperate cries that i plastered all over the social media site. Our church made a special exception and paid for our plane tickets. They heard my crys and !!BOOM!! Just like that the biggest expense was taking care of. UNBELIEVABLE and UNEXPECTED!! Next I sat down I sent a text message to a family member that I knew would be able to help us with the rest, if she wanted. I didn't hear back, so I panicked and started ugly crying. I got on my knees and begged "God, Why are you demanding us to go know when we are not prepared. This is so unexpected! WHY!? Please make it clear if this is what we are supposed to be doing. Please God provide a way" I know with all of my heart if God brings you to it, he will see you through it. Why was I questioning him? Well, that's simple because I am human. I am full of sin because of this instead of standing firm in my faith and trusting the Lord with all my heart, i doubt and question. Sin is the reason we doubt and question God, we have such little faith when times get tough. So many of us are too busy to hear when the lord calls us to do something. God had this trip planned and funded long before i knew. Why do i I always forget this..oh yeah I'm human!
Part 2 coming soon!
I don't remember the exact time from being home from the hospital until I received the "email" from the Ghana embassy. Remember my friend had assured me we had nothing to worry about, that the next email we would get should be our i-600 approval if we had all supporting evidence. Well, that is not the email i received. The email i received said.....(piece from actual email)
Thank you for your e-mail.
Physical presence at some point is essential to the jurisdiction of the overseas post. The adoptive parents must actually be “physically present” in country for their Form I-600 to be considered properly “filed.” However, if the adoptive parents wish to file through their Power of Attorney (POA), they may send the completed form and evidence to their POA who must submit them in person on their behalf. They need to make sure that in support of the petition, evidence is attached showing that they have already been to Ghana at some point during the adoption process or state that they will be in Ghana before a determination is made by USCIS Accra.
As previously stated, physical presence at some point is essential to the jurisdiction of the overseas post. USCIS Accra WILL NOT make a determination on the petition if the adoptive parents have not been physically present at some point during the adoption process.
WHAT THE CRAP DOES THAT MEAN?!?! I CLEARLY SEE WHAT IT SAYS BUT I COULD NOT ACCEPT WHAT I WAS READING!! WE HAD NOT BEEN TO GHANA!! WE HAD NOT MET OUR SWEET BOY YET!! WHAT THE CRAP WERE WE GOING TO DO!! WHAT THE CRAP!!!!
So what do you do in the time of crisis? You cry, you pray, you cry, you pray, you throw up, because you realize that your adoption has come to an abrupt stop until you get to his country and meet him. You realize that you just had a baby your husband just went back to work, you have no money in savings, can barely afford to pay your bills. You realize only God himself will make it possible for you to go. So what do you do? You get on Priceline and you look at booking plane tickets. PANIC!!! Not only have you just been told your adoption has come to an abrupt stop until you get to Ghana, but now Priceline is telling you that if you don't book the next week tickets will double in price! WHAT THE CRAP!!! I am very good with going with the flow, keeping God at the center and trusting his timing in everything. So to me it seemed like God was being direct and demanding "GO, GO NOW"! So you cry, you pray and you get on Facebook, you tell what has just happen and you beg, for anyone who can help to help. The response was amazing and nothing short of God's work.
PSALM 34:17 The LORD hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles.
A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!! Our friends, family and church heard the desperate cries that i plastered all over the social media site. Our church made a special exception and paid for our plane tickets. They heard my crys and !!BOOM!! Just like that the biggest expense was taking care of. UNBELIEVABLE and UNEXPECTED!! Next I sat down I sent a text message to a family member that I knew would be able to help us with the rest, if she wanted. I didn't hear back, so I panicked and started ugly crying. I got on my knees and begged "God, Why are you demanding us to go know when we are not prepared. This is so unexpected! WHY!? Please make it clear if this is what we are supposed to be doing. Please God provide a way" I know with all of my heart if God brings you to it, he will see you through it. Why was I questioning him? Well, that's simple because I am human. I am full of sin because of this instead of standing firm in my faith and trusting the Lord with all my heart, i doubt and question. Sin is the reason we doubt and question God, we have such little faith when times get tough. So many of us are too busy to hear when the lord calls us to do something. God had this trip planned and funded long before i knew. Why do i I always forget this..oh yeah I'm human!
Matthew 17:20 He
said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if
you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this
mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will
be impossible for you.” (Jesus Speaking)
Part 2 coming soon!
Sunday, March 30, 2014
OVER-JOYED!!
Now where did I leave off?!? Oh, yeah I received a NOID (NOTICE OF INTENT TO DENY) on our I-600 stateside filing and the Dr. told me my baby was breach and scheduled me a c-section. My next Dr apt was the last one I would have before the surgery. As I walked in the office I remember praying over and over again this is your story God, I trust you. This is your story i trust you, OVER AND OVER AND OVER again. Anytime, those prayers stopped, that tiny voice in the back of my head was screaming at God, I was terrified, and wanted to know WHY he was doing this. I just didn't understand and was losing faith fast.
There i was at the last doctors appointment before c-section and I was dreading it. As i sat in the waiting room I again kept saying to myself "god is in control, i trust him. Of course i waited longer that appointment than all the others combine. My nerves were a mess and i was ready to get back there and get it over with.
Finally after what seemed to be a couple years of waiting they called me back. Again, i sat waiting for what seemed like another 5 years for the Dr to come in and check me. The only thing good about all that waiting was it gave me more time to beg God to flip the baby so we could have a natural delivery. When the doctor finally came into the room we talked about the c-section he tried to calm my fears but all he did was make them worse and upset me more. However, the only good thing i remember about all of it was he said he would allow my mom and Tony to be in there but only b/c i was so upset and he knew he much it meant to me. I really think he felt bad because of the way things worked out when Bri was born in California. Believe me he knew all about it and how i wanted my momma there!
So there I was falling off the table and my legs in the air. It felt as if he were going to pull the baby right out of me!! He kept making funny faces and mumbling stuff. Then he demanded the nurse to go get an ultra sound machine. Over and over again i kept saying "whats wrong?" "Is everything OK?" He never answered me. When they nurse came back in he smiled really big and said your not going to believe this but i think the baby flipped. I'm almost 99% sure hes head down. The ultrasound proved it, he was head down! God had answered our prayer and the baby was head down! Praise god to the highest! I got dressed and we went on and scheduled an appointment to be induced the next Tuesday. I didn't care to be induced at that point as long as I wasn't being cut on. I did not want to chance the baby flipping again.
Fast Forward to Monday Sept. 23 the day before my due date and date to be induced. Since my last appointment i had cramped quit a bit but it was nothing to be concerned over. I knew my baby was head down and working his way to delivery. On Monday I remember when i was getting Bri ready for school we were almost late because i was cramping so much. They were consistent and hard cramps/ contractions. After i dropped her off i called my aunt, Tony and my mom and let them know that i was cramping heavy, and we might be going to the hospital sooner than expected. We were supposed to go in at 4:30 that night (Tuesday morning) if at all possible we were going to wait. I timed them they would always be strong and steady for about an hour then they would stop for while. This happened all day, so we never went to the hospital. That night we took Bri to my aunts so that she could take her to school Tuesday morning. We got back home i did last min picking up and went to bed i was a nervous wreck and exhausted.
4:30 came quick. The alarm was going off we got up and headed to the hospital. I actually remembering waking up a little before 4:30 because i
started cramping again. From that moment on everything went extremely fast.
4:30 checked into hospital started paperwork and "prepping"
5:30 cramping gets more intense so they hooked me to monitor "looks like you would've been here anyways huh" stated one nurse
6:30 IV/ fluids
8:00 Dr T came in and checked me
8:30 requested epidural
9:00 they checked me again
9:30 got epidural
10:00 Dr T came in checked me again. told me do not push that he was going next door to deliver and he would be right back. He walked out of the room and i felt pressure and knew he was coming!
10:28 3 pushes later they put this tiny, slimy, gross, baby boy on me that was screaming his little lungs out.
Of course everything was so exciting everyone wanted in to see him. Once everyone at the hospital saw him Tony's mom and day went and got Bri from school. She was so excited from the first moment we told her she was going to be a sister. I couldn't wait for her to meet her baby brother. She glowed when she saw him, she was proud! "I wonder what Isaiah will think of him?" she innocently asked. Little did she know she crumbled me into pieces, i just knew he would be home by this point, and i was heart broken. I knew what i had to do, i couldn't waste another minute i had to get my sweet boy home!
All the excitement calmed and everyone left so I could rest some and I did BUT first i remember, I got on my cell phone and I emailed our USCIS officer. I requested to withdraw our I-600 filing from stateside. I then emailed the Ghana embassy. I explained our situation and told them i knew it wasn't common but we wanted our POA to file the i-600 for us IMMEDIATELY without us being there. Everything was so perfect in that moment in time except the fact that Isaiah wasn't there. All of my emotions caught up with me. I was sad because my baby girl wanted to share such a special moment with her brother that was across the world. I was angry that he wasn't home and i felt a huge amount of guilt for not trusting that God would provide the funds and delaying our process. I was angry at myself. I was angry that i was angry and couldn't even enjoy the birth of my new baby boy. I just didn't understand any of Gods timing. Looking back NOW I DO, NOW I UNDERSTAND!
Romans 12:12
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
There i was at the last doctors appointment before c-section and I was dreading it. As i sat in the waiting room I again kept saying to myself "god is in control, i trust him. Of course i waited longer that appointment than all the others combine. My nerves were a mess and i was ready to get back there and get it over with.
Finally after what seemed to be a couple years of waiting they called me back. Again, i sat waiting for what seemed like another 5 years for the Dr to come in and check me. The only thing good about all that waiting was it gave me more time to beg God to flip the baby so we could have a natural delivery. When the doctor finally came into the room we talked about the c-section he tried to calm my fears but all he did was make them worse and upset me more. However, the only good thing i remember about all of it was he said he would allow my mom and Tony to be in there but only b/c i was so upset and he knew he much it meant to me. I really think he felt bad because of the way things worked out when Bri was born in California. Believe me he knew all about it and how i wanted my momma there!
So there I was falling off the table and my legs in the air. It felt as if he were going to pull the baby right out of me!! He kept making funny faces and mumbling stuff. Then he demanded the nurse to go get an ultra sound machine. Over and over again i kept saying "whats wrong?" "Is everything OK?" He never answered me. When they nurse came back in he smiled really big and said your not going to believe this but i think the baby flipped. I'm almost 99% sure hes head down. The ultrasound proved it, he was head down! God had answered our prayer and the baby was head down! Praise god to the highest! I got dressed and we went on and scheduled an appointment to be induced the next Tuesday. I didn't care to be induced at that point as long as I wasn't being cut on. I did not want to chance the baby flipping again.
Fast Forward to Monday Sept. 23 the day before my due date and date to be induced. Since my last appointment i had cramped quit a bit but it was nothing to be concerned over. I knew my baby was head down and working his way to delivery. On Monday I remember when i was getting Bri ready for school we were almost late because i was cramping so much. They were consistent and hard cramps/ contractions. After i dropped her off i called my aunt, Tony and my mom and let them know that i was cramping heavy, and we might be going to the hospital sooner than expected. We were supposed to go in at 4:30 that night (Tuesday morning) if at all possible we were going to wait. I timed them they would always be strong and steady for about an hour then they would stop for while. This happened all day, so we never went to the hospital. That night we took Bri to my aunts so that she could take her to school Tuesday morning. We got back home i did last min picking up and went to bed i was a nervous wreck and exhausted.
4:30 came quick. The alarm was going off we got up and headed to the hospital. I actually remembering waking up a little before 4:30 because i
4:30 checked into hospital started paperwork and "prepping"
5:30 cramping gets more intense so they hooked me to monitor "looks like you would've been here anyways huh" stated one nurse
6:30 IV/ fluids
8:00 Dr T came in and checked me
8:30 requested epidural
9:00 they checked me again
9:30 got epidural
10:28 3 pushes later they put this tiny, slimy, gross, baby boy on me that was screaming his little lungs out.
Of course everything was so exciting everyone wanted in to see him. Once everyone at the hospital saw him Tony's mom and day went and got Bri from school. She was so excited from the first moment we told her she was going to be a sister. I couldn't wait for her to meet her baby brother. She glowed when she saw him, she was proud! "I wonder what Isaiah will think of him?" she innocently asked. Little did she know she crumbled me into pieces, i just knew he would be home by this point, and i was heart broken. I knew what i had to do, i couldn't waste another minute i had to get my sweet boy home!
All the excitement calmed and everyone left so I could rest some and I did BUT first i remember, I got on my cell phone and I emailed our USCIS officer. I requested to withdraw our I-600 filing from stateside. I then emailed the Ghana embassy. I explained our situation and told them i knew it wasn't common but we wanted our POA to file the i-600 for us IMMEDIATELY without us being there. Everything was so perfect in that moment in time except the fact that Isaiah wasn't there. All of my emotions caught up with me. I was sad because my baby girl wanted to share such a special moment with her brother that was across the world. I was angry that he wasn't home and i felt a huge amount of guilt for not trusting that God would provide the funds and delaying our process. I was angry at myself. I was angry that i was angry and couldn't even enjoy the birth of my new baby boy. I just didn't understand any of Gods timing. Looking back NOW I DO, NOW I UNDERSTAND!
Romans 12:12
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
OVER EVERTHING!!
Like i was saying in the last post July 31, 2013 was a big step in our adoption process. I mailed our I-600 off stateside. *I-600 is an application for the Ghana government approving our adoption. LAST STEP! This is the last big step in international adoption world. It will either be your light at the end of the tunnel or where you get hit by the train. I just knew with all my heart we had the all the information we needed this would be easy. Other families were passing without any trouble very quickly, and we would too.
On August 15, our USCIS officer contacted me. She told me she received our paperwork and she was happy to have our case. She was so nice, she seemed to know what she was doing. This was so reassuring, I felt good about our conversation. My sweet boy was coming home before baby Logan was going to make his grand debut. That little voice of doubt in the back of my head had finally left. You see, it doesn't matter if it's your first adoption or your fifth, through every step of your process there is a little voice in the back of your head that's always asking "Will we pass this part?" "Is this REALLY what God has chosen for me?" "How long will this take?" "Is this really happening!?"
August 21, ONE MONTH UNTIL BABY LOGAN IS DUE, BRI WAS JUST STARTING KINDERGARTEN AT A PUBLIC SCHOOL, our lives at this point is totally hectic! We were trying to adjust to the new school routine, finish the babies room, basiclly trying to stay as busy as possible to pass time waiting on that email saying we are approved! Our USCIS officer called me and told me she was sending me a RFE (request for evidence). This was not a big deal, it was expected. They have to ask for evidence in cases where the child has family living. I didn't mind, I wanted them to double check everything and make sure this is something the birth mother wanted. I wanted to make sure she couldn't provide for him and that we were the only hope for her son. What I specificlly remember her asking for was a birth certificate, she kept insisting us to"get" a birth certificate. Isaiah was not born in a hospital, he does not have a birth certificate, if we "got" one we would of had to do it illegally and that's something we were not willing to do. We sent emailes back and forworth, and i emailed her the additional evidence we thought would satisfy her. I was getting frustrated, I know we weren't her first international adoption. I CALLED AND ASKED, just to make sure!! Why is this experienced lady demanding a birth certificate?!? She should know that this is very uncommon in African countries, WHAT THE CRAP IS HER PROBLEM!!!
September 9ish, 3 WEEKS UNTIL BABYS DUE DATE, I was huge, miserable i couldn't bend, sit, walk, or even stand in one position for longer than a few miniuets. My Dr. appointments at this point are every week to see how we are progressing to delivery. Sept. 9ish our officer called me and told me the evidence that we had sent in is not what she wanted that she was sending us a NOID (notice of intent to deny) our I-600. WHAT?!?! MY HEART STOPPED BEATING!! However, we had 30 days to get the specific things she needed or i-600 would be denied and we would be starting over. 30 DAYS ARE SERIOUS?!?! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!! DID SHE NOT FREAKN LISTEN IN OUR LAST CONVERSATION..I'M FIXING TO HAVE A BABY!!! You know that feeling you get in your tummy when you drive over a hill entirely to fast. That's what I felt, I was nauseous, I felt like I was going to throw up. It was not possible for me to "get" what she wanted IN 3 WEEKS!!
Just so happens I had made a very good friend that is very respected and wise in the adoption world. She worked closely with the embassy and previously for an agency that is in Ghana (a very good, trusted source). She told us to withdraw our filing of I-600 stateside and to file in Ghana. WHAT IN GODS PERFECT NAME DOES THAT CONSIST OF?!? OVVVEERR IITTT!! I thought we had to travel to file in Ghana?!? We could have done this in August OR MARCH!! MY SWEET BOY COULD BE HOME! She assured me to calm down that, we could file in Ghana without being there. She has recommended people to do it, it worked out perfectly for them. The government don't like it but they do make exceptions in special cases. She was sure with the baby coming we would have no problem, it was a special case. To be honest I was irritated I just wanted to relax and be pregnant. I was still watching 4 kids during the day working a few hours at Khols during the night. Taking and picking Bri up from school, packing her lunch everyday, on top of the normal stay at home mom responsibilities; cooking (3 meals a day) cleaning (nonstop from watching the kids), laundry, garden, plus all the yard work, dealing with my dad (another day) and being very pregnant now with another stress on my shoulders of the adoption. FYI: Yes, my husband helps when I let him, I just try and have stuff done before he gets home. I was over everything, discouraged, I just wanted to relax and be pregnant without all the other worries.
The following Tuesday was my next Dr. appointment. I prayed like a mad women that I had progressed along enough that we would have a better idea of when the baby was coming. "WHY DON'T YOU JUST GET INDUCED?" "SCHEDULE IT, IT WILL BE SO MUCH EASIER!" "WHY ARE YOU MAKING THINGS SO DIFFICULT ON EVERYONE" Yep, these are just some of the many things I heard before every Dr. appointment. I was over hearing about what I should do with my baby and my body. I am not one to change Gods plans. I fully believe a baby will be born when he says so. I fully trust the lords timing. I do not do c-sections and I do not get induced. I made that clear with my Dr. from the start. He didn't like it but he accepted.
That Dr. visit was the first "bad" Dr. apt I have ever had. At that moment in time he was about to tell me the worst thing ever! The baby had flipped and was breach. He double checked and even did an ultrasound to make sure. I put my clothes back on and he came back in the room and we talked about what would happen next...we needed to schedule a c-section. He said at 37 weeks pregnant the baby was to big to flip. I cried, and cried, and cried, and cried and UGLY CRIED. I was angry! I REFUSED! Of course he told me i couldn't refuse and gave me a "due date" and reasured me if he re-flipped we could cancel the c-section and go natural.
That was it. That was the straw that broke the camels back, my tipping point i was over it, i was done!! I was exhausted mentally, physically,and emotionally. I was crabby and ugly to my husband, daughter and anyone who crossed my path none of which deserved it but they may have understood a little more if they realized the weight of the baggage I was carrying every day. I contacted the children's parents that I watched and told them I wouldn't be able to watch them anymore and I put my notice in at kohls and I sat, nothing more nothing less. I didn't care about the dishes, laundry, dinners, anything. I was tired and needed rest i only had 2 weeks left and that's EXACTLY what I was going to do..REST. During my resting days, I got advice from mommas in our community group and researched ways to flip a breach baby. I focused my time from the last Dr appointment to the next weeks appointment on prayer and doing every "home remedy" trick i could find and praying did i mention that? I talked to God morning, noon and night and every min in between. I did not want a c-section!! I refused to believe that this was Gods plan for me. Looking back I can say he gave me that scare because he knew I needed to rest.
In my time of rest and prayer I prayed a lot (not nearly as much as flipping that baby) about our I-600. Is this what we were supposed to do (file in Ghana)? If God wanted us to file in Ghana why didn't he lay that on our hearts and make it clear 6 months earlier?!? How would withdrawing from the stateside filing effect us? Would we look like we were trying to hide something? Would Ghana think badly of us? It was all so overwhelming and confusing. At this point, we never acted, just prayed and thought about what was the right thing to do. After all, the wrong decision could jeopordize our entire adoption! At one point I felt calm, at ease if you will. God, made it clear to me to focus on one thing at a time and the things that were right in front of me, SO i did. I focused on resting and my stubborn baby boy!
On August 15, our USCIS officer contacted me. She told me she received our paperwork and she was happy to have our case. She was so nice, she seemed to know what she was doing. This was so reassuring, I felt good about our conversation. My sweet boy was coming home before baby Logan was going to make his grand debut. That little voice of doubt in the back of my head had finally left. You see, it doesn't matter if it's your first adoption or your fifth, through every step of your process there is a little voice in the back of your head that's always asking "Will we pass this part?" "Is this REALLY what God has chosen for me?" "How long will this take?" "Is this really happening!?"
August 21, ONE MONTH UNTIL BABY LOGAN IS DUE, BRI WAS JUST STARTING KINDERGARTEN AT A PUBLIC SCHOOL, our lives at this point is totally hectic! We were trying to adjust to the new school routine, finish the babies room, basiclly trying to stay as busy as possible to pass time waiting on that email saying we are approved! Our USCIS officer called me and told me she was sending me a RFE (request for evidence). This was not a big deal, it was expected. They have to ask for evidence in cases where the child has family living. I didn't mind, I wanted them to double check everything and make sure this is something the birth mother wanted. I wanted to make sure she couldn't provide for him and that we were the only hope for her son. What I specificlly remember her asking for was a birth certificate, she kept insisting us to"get" a birth certificate. Isaiah was not born in a hospital, he does not have a birth certificate, if we "got" one we would of had to do it illegally and that's something we were not willing to do. We sent emailes back and forworth, and i emailed her the additional evidence we thought would satisfy her. I was getting frustrated, I know we weren't her first international adoption. I CALLED AND ASKED, just to make sure!! Why is this experienced lady demanding a birth certificate?!? She should know that this is very uncommon in African countries, WHAT THE CRAP IS HER PROBLEM!!!
September 9ish, 3 WEEKS UNTIL BABYS DUE DATE, I was huge, miserable i couldn't bend, sit, walk, or even stand in one position for longer than a few miniuets. My Dr. appointments at this point are every week to see how we are progressing to delivery. Sept. 9ish our officer called me and told me the evidence that we had sent in is not what she wanted that she was sending us a NOID (notice of intent to deny) our I-600. WHAT?!?! MY HEART STOPPED BEATING!! However, we had 30 days to get the specific things she needed or i-600 would be denied and we would be starting over. 30 DAYS ARE SERIOUS?!?! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!! DID SHE NOT FREAKN LISTEN IN OUR LAST CONVERSATION..I'M FIXING TO HAVE A BABY!!! You know that feeling you get in your tummy when you drive over a hill entirely to fast. That's what I felt, I was nauseous, I felt like I was going to throw up. It was not possible for me to "get" what she wanted IN 3 WEEKS!!
Just so happens I had made a very good friend that is very respected and wise in the adoption world. She worked closely with the embassy and previously for an agency that is in Ghana (a very good, trusted source). She told us to withdraw our filing of I-600 stateside and to file in Ghana. WHAT IN GODS PERFECT NAME DOES THAT CONSIST OF?!? OVVVEERR IITTT!! I thought we had to travel to file in Ghana?!? We could have done this in August OR MARCH!! MY SWEET BOY COULD BE HOME! She assured me to calm down that, we could file in Ghana without being there. She has recommended people to do it, it worked out perfectly for them. The government don't like it but they do make exceptions in special cases. She was sure with the baby coming we would have no problem, it was a special case. To be honest I was irritated I just wanted to relax and be pregnant. I was still watching 4 kids during the day working a few hours at Khols during the night. Taking and picking Bri up from school, packing her lunch everyday, on top of the normal stay at home mom responsibilities; cooking (3 meals a day) cleaning (nonstop from watching the kids), laundry, garden, plus all the yard work, dealing with my dad (another day) and being very pregnant now with another stress on my shoulders of the adoption. FYI: Yes, my husband helps when I let him, I just try and have stuff done before he gets home. I was over everything, discouraged, I just wanted to relax and be pregnant without all the other worries.
The following Tuesday was my next Dr. appointment. I prayed like a mad women that I had progressed along enough that we would have a better idea of when the baby was coming. "WHY DON'T YOU JUST GET INDUCED?" "SCHEDULE IT, IT WILL BE SO MUCH EASIER!" "WHY ARE YOU MAKING THINGS SO DIFFICULT ON EVERYONE" Yep, these are just some of the many things I heard before every Dr. appointment. I was over hearing about what I should do with my baby and my body. I am not one to change Gods plans. I fully believe a baby will be born when he says so. I fully trust the lords timing. I do not do c-sections and I do not get induced. I made that clear with my Dr. from the start. He didn't like it but he accepted.
That Dr. visit was the first "bad" Dr. apt I have ever had. At that moment in time he was about to tell me the worst thing ever! The baby had flipped and was breach. He double checked and even did an ultrasound to make sure. I put my clothes back on and he came back in the room and we talked about what would happen next...we needed to schedule a c-section. He said at 37 weeks pregnant the baby was to big to flip. I cried, and cried, and cried, and cried and UGLY CRIED. I was angry! I REFUSED! Of course he told me i couldn't refuse and gave me a "due date" and reasured me if he re-flipped we could cancel the c-section and go natural.
That was it. That was the straw that broke the camels back, my tipping point i was over it, i was done!! I was exhausted mentally, physically,and emotionally. I was crabby and ugly to my husband, daughter and anyone who crossed my path none of which deserved it but they may have understood a little more if they realized the weight of the baggage I was carrying every day. I contacted the children's parents that I watched and told them I wouldn't be able to watch them anymore and I put my notice in at kohls and I sat, nothing more nothing less. I didn't care about the dishes, laundry, dinners, anything. I was tired and needed rest i only had 2 weeks left and that's EXACTLY what I was going to do..REST. During my resting days, I got advice from mommas in our community group and researched ways to flip a breach baby. I focused my time from the last Dr appointment to the next weeks appointment on prayer and doing every "home remedy" trick i could find and praying did i mention that? I talked to God morning, noon and night and every min in between. I did not want a c-section!! I refused to believe that this was Gods plan for me. Looking back I can say he gave me that scare because he knew I needed to rest.
In my time of rest and prayer I prayed a lot (not nearly as much as flipping that baby) about our I-600. Is this what we were supposed to do (file in Ghana)? If God wanted us to file in Ghana why didn't he lay that on our hearts and make it clear 6 months earlier?!? How would withdrawing from the stateside filing effect us? Would we look like we were trying to hide something? Would Ghana think badly of us? It was all so overwhelming and confusing. At this point, we never acted, just prayed and thought about what was the right thing to do. After all, the wrong decision could jeopordize our entire adoption! At one point I felt calm, at ease if you will. God, made it clear to me to focus on one thing at a time and the things that were right in front of me, SO i did. I focused on resting and my stubborn baby boy!
Saturday, March 22, 2014
REWIND!!!
In July my beautiful baby belly was growing. I looked like I had a basketball under my shirt, although it was weird to me to be pregnant with a boy, I loved it. I was definitely much cuter being pregnant with Logan (Oh its a boy!! lol) than I was with Bri. Wait, is that vain?!
What you do not know is this is a piece of Gods story and how it displays his perfect timeline. We received Isaiah's referral (referral= a picture and info of a child. We can accept or deny him) Dec. 22ish, 2012. A week before Christmas, is what I clearly remember. Our dossier (dossier= packet of paperwork, needed to process adoption; birth certificates, marriage license, homestudy, pictures of our family and home, ext) got in country around my moms birthday January 14, 2013. Our POA sent me a text said everything looked great and everything had been turned in to the courts. I remember it being like 2 days after we got that text we found out i was pregnant. Talk about an emotional person! I keep track of everything very well. So we figured the due date then, when I went to the Dr. he gave me the same due date. So I went back to see if it lined up with any days that I had recorded as "baby making days" and it did perfectly. Guess, when we got pregnant?!?!?! The same week we got Isaiah's referral! Nothing short of Gods perfect timing.
At 5 months old here is the little man that turns me into a puddle of mommy moosh, every time he crinkles his nose and smiles at me. He is spoiled rotten. He is a mommy's boy, although he has been over looked in the blog, he won't let himself be over looked at home. He is very real, demanding and already keeps me on my toes. He is adorable, amazing, and I wouldn't trade our surprise, poop machine for anything in this world. I am slightly obsessed with him can you tell? Again, we have what we call a miracle baby. We thought we couldn't get pregnant and at Gods perfect time he gave us this amazing boy. God knew if we didn't have Isaiah's referral and paperwork complete there was a chance we wouldn't have continued the adoption process. Which would have never sent me to Ghana, we never found that orphanage, never started Sharing Shoes. You will get the details of all of that soon. You see Gods timing is perfect, and everything happens for a reason.
Where will this sweet boy get his one on one time in our already crazy routine? Will Bri be as willing to share her snuggle time with him? I want this sweet boy home now! It's not fair he doesn't get to do homework with a mom...his mom...ME! I want to lay in the middle of my 2 big kids and read a bible story together. I wanna hear what he wants to pray about every night. What secrets will he share? Will he tell me that he prayed for us during our long journey? Will he pray to go back to Ghana? I'm not sure the answers to any of these. At this point if i am being honest, it's been a year since we past court and 6 months since we filed I-600, I am frustrated,confused on Gods doing and don't even know if he will come home. Is there anything to suggest that other than the Ghana government taking their sweet time, NO. Am I lacking confidence or faith at this point, yes and no. I am lacking confidence because i am the person when i want something i work hard, i make timeline and i meet goals. I made delay in our process, if i hadn't do that I'm almost certain he would home. Am I lacking faith absolutely not, NEVER. When I reread what I wrote I think I should delete because it sure sounds like I am. I can't delete it though, that's how i feel. Again, "I", 12 times in 2 sentences, "I" was used. This isn't about me and my goals, timeline, or how hard I have worked. God loves me without all this hard work. He sent his son to die for me. I don't have to anything other than honor, trust and believe in him. This is God's story, that has turned in a chapter book, that I have been blessed to be the main character of. Life is so busy, sometimes it takes sitting down and writing your thoughts to snap back into who's really in charge. There is a big picture, and I can not wait for it to be reveled. The big picture scares the crap out of me! I Know his plans may not be the same as mine, and that is scary. Looking back, pieces that i thought were lost, were just waiting to be connected with the right piece. Not lost just apart of a huge puzzle, that is taking time to piece together. If you read my blog from the start it's clear. Proverbs 19:21
Many are the plans in a person's heart,
but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.
Anyways, July 31, 2013 I mailed our I-600 off stateside. *I-600 is an application for the Ghana government approving our adoption. LAST STEP! Next blog will cover that process. See ya soon!
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
That was a quick 9 months!!
I just told a friend I have a blog all about our adoption story from first thought to current. Well, I was wrong about half of it. It is not current! The last post was over 9 months ago. SHAME ON ME!! My excuse? Life happens, it comes at us strong and fast next thing you know days turn to weeks, weeks into months..9 months later your catching up on your blog :-0 So obviously a lot has happen; i had a baby, our adopted son is still not home, and i have started a project called Sharing Shoes. I will give you the quick run down now then go back tonight and break down the details of whats important to me.
*July 31: we filed our I-600 stateside. I-600 is the application asking the Ghana government for approval of our adoption. I-600 is the last major piece of paperwork in international adoptions. The light at the end of the tunnel if you will.
*August 15: our USCIS officer contacted me telling me she received our paperwork and she was happy to have our case. The same week our POA received our sons passport to only realize his name was misspelled. So he sent the passport back in for correction. We got the corrected passport 2 weeks later.
*August 21: our USCIS officer called me and told me she was sending me a RFE (request for evidence)
This was not a big deal, it was expected, they have to ask for evidence in cases where the child has family living. What I specificlly remember her asking for was a birth certificate, she kept insisting us "get" a birth cerificate. My son was not born in a hospital, he does not have a birth cert, if we "got" one we would of had to do it illegally and that's something we were not willing to do. So we gathered the information we thought would satisfy her wants, explained that birth certificates are very uncommon in international adoption and sent in what we did have.
*September: Our officer called me and told me the evidence that we had sent in is not what she wanted that she was sending us a NOID (notice of intent to deny) our I-600, that we had 30 days to get the specific things she needed or i-600 would be denied and we would be starting over. As you can imagine my heart stopped. I was very pregnant, 3 weeks until due date. It was not possible for me to "get" what she wanted. So i seeked advice from a good friend that works closely with the embassy and previously for an agency that is in Ghana (a very good, trusted source).
*September: 2 weeks after i received the NOID letter i worte my USCIS officer back and told her my situation. It was not possible for me to get what she needed or provide evidence that i couldn't get it in the time frame given with me due the next week to have a baby. So as advised from my good friend we withdrew our adoption from stateside filing and prepared to send in everything to file in Ghana.
*September 24: I had a beautiful baby boy, tiny and perfect in every way. Yet, couldn't keep my mind off of the boy across the world that had our name.
*October: After things got settled and more "normal"<- ha, ha) with the baby. I emailed the embassy in Ghana, requesting to file I-600 in country. We had been told with our unique situation we could file in Ghana without actually having to be there. A few days later they emailed me back. They were very nice and requested proof that we had met our son. WHAT?!?! We hadn't met him. So we argued a few days then it was explained to me that with the new administrator that we had to meet our son before we can file in Ghana. **!!PANIC!!** So I got on Facebook cried my fears and begged for anyone who could help us get over there to let me know. You see until we got in country and actually met him our process comes to an abrupt stop. Thankfully we had immediate response. One of the pastors from the church we had been attending for over a year (i am now member of) said they would love to take care of the plane tickets. Are you serious?!?! Thank you, God! Always providing, never forsaking. A family member then sent me email saying she would take care of the rest. BAM! JUST LIKE THAT OUR TRIP WAS COVERED. ***LISTEN TO ME PEOPLE!!** THE LORD FUNDS WHAT HE FAVORS!!
*October 29 -November 4 We made a whirlwind trip into Ghana, met our son (NOTHING OF WHAT WE EXPECTED-another blog), filed i-600, stumbled upon a privately ran children home, felt an over whelming calling to serve this home (another blog), on the plane ride home came up with Sharing Shoes.
*November-February
I have been in regular contact with the embassy they have requested more evidence and are conducting interviews with the town my son is from along with any and everyone they may know anything about him to prove his orphan status. Still praying he will be home soon.
*February 26- current
We went to on our first ever Sharing Shoes mission and got to bond with my son! This trip was emotional and amazing on so many levels. That boy across the world with our last name, that hated me the the first time we met, bonded with me, called me mommy, actually snuggled me, that boy across the world became my son (another blog). Yet another trip to Ghana and hes still not home. That's hard to accept.
Ok that was a semi-quick wrap up of what has happen in the past 9 months. I will go back tonight (i promise) and go into detail in a few of the areas that really need to be talked about, such as our first meeting, the start of Sharing Shoes and the unexpected amazing bond we had this trip. There's a lot of heart and emotion involved in all of these areas that i can't wait to pour my heart into for you.
*July 31: we filed our I-600 stateside. I-600 is the application asking the Ghana government for approval of our adoption. I-600 is the last major piece of paperwork in international adoptions. The light at the end of the tunnel if you will.
*August 15: our USCIS officer contacted me telling me she received our paperwork and she was happy to have our case. The same week our POA received our sons passport to only realize his name was misspelled. So he sent the passport back in for correction. We got the corrected passport 2 weeks later.
*August 21: our USCIS officer called me and told me she was sending me a RFE (request for evidence)
This was not a big deal, it was expected, they have to ask for evidence in cases where the child has family living. What I specificlly remember her asking for was a birth certificate, she kept insisting us "get" a birth cerificate. My son was not born in a hospital, he does not have a birth cert, if we "got" one we would of had to do it illegally and that's something we were not willing to do. So we gathered the information we thought would satisfy her wants, explained that birth certificates are very uncommon in international adoption and sent in what we did have.
*September: Our officer called me and told me the evidence that we had sent in is not what she wanted that she was sending us a NOID (notice of intent to deny) our I-600, that we had 30 days to get the specific things she needed or i-600 would be denied and we would be starting over. As you can imagine my heart stopped. I was very pregnant, 3 weeks until due date. It was not possible for me to "get" what she wanted. So i seeked advice from a good friend that works closely with the embassy and previously for an agency that is in Ghana (a very good, trusted source).
*September: 2 weeks after i received the NOID letter i worte my USCIS officer back and told her my situation. It was not possible for me to get what she needed or provide evidence that i couldn't get it in the time frame given with me due the next week to have a baby. So as advised from my good friend we withdrew our adoption from stateside filing and prepared to send in everything to file in Ghana.
*September 24: I had a beautiful baby boy, tiny and perfect in every way. Yet, couldn't keep my mind off of the boy across the world that had our name.
*October: After things got settled and more "normal"<- ha, ha) with the baby. I emailed the embassy in Ghana, requesting to file I-600 in country. We had been told with our unique situation we could file in Ghana without actually having to be there. A few days later they emailed me back. They were very nice and requested proof that we had met our son. WHAT?!?! We hadn't met him. So we argued a few days then it was explained to me that with the new administrator that we had to meet our son before we can file in Ghana. **!!PANIC!!** So I got on Facebook cried my fears and begged for anyone who could help us get over there to let me know. You see until we got in country and actually met him our process comes to an abrupt stop. Thankfully we had immediate response. One of the pastors from the church we had been attending for over a year (i am now member of) said they would love to take care of the plane tickets. Are you serious?!?! Thank you, God! Always providing, never forsaking. A family member then sent me email saying she would take care of the rest. BAM! JUST LIKE THAT OUR TRIP WAS COVERED. ***LISTEN TO ME PEOPLE!!** THE LORD FUNDS WHAT HE FAVORS!!
*October 29 -November 4 We made a whirlwind trip into Ghana, met our son (NOTHING OF WHAT WE EXPECTED-another blog), filed i-600, stumbled upon a privately ran children home, felt an over whelming calling to serve this home (another blog), on the plane ride home came up with Sharing Shoes.
*November-February
I have been in regular contact with the embassy they have requested more evidence and are conducting interviews with the town my son is from along with any and everyone they may know anything about him to prove his orphan status. Still praying he will be home soon.
*February 26- current
We went to on our first ever Sharing Shoes mission and got to bond with my son! This trip was emotional and amazing on so many levels. That boy across the world with our last name, that hated me the the first time we met, bonded with me, called me mommy, actually snuggled me, that boy across the world became my son (another blog). Yet another trip to Ghana and hes still not home. That's hard to accept.
Ok that was a semi-quick wrap up of what has happen in the past 9 months. I will go back tonight (i promise) and go into detail in a few of the areas that really need to be talked about, such as our first meeting, the start of Sharing Shoes and the unexpected amazing bond we had this trip. There's a lot of heart and emotion involved in all of these areas that i can't wait to pour my heart into for you.
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