REWIND!!!

I'm going to now rewind this story and start filling in some holes that was left open in the "quick" update i posted last week. Let's take it back to July 31, 2013. Up until that point nothing adoption related had happen. In July I was 8 months pregnant with our first biological son. You see he's not our first son. We became paper pregnant to handsome 45ish pound, 6 year old boy on in mid January. Officially became his parents March 25,2013. All in Gods great timing that i will explain later in this blog.

In July my beautiful baby belly was growing. I looked like I had a basketball under my shirt, although it was weird to me to be pregnant with a boy, I loved it. I was definitely much cuter being pregnant with Logan (Oh its a boy!! lol) than I was with Bri. Wait, is that vain?! 

Let's give this unplanned, unexpected, 100% wonderful surprise blessing 5 mins of attention. As i write this blog I tear up thinking what have I done! Being blessed with a baby is a Gift from God. He chose this sweet baby boy to be my son. I tear up because I was to "busy" and stressed with the adoption to express in the blog about being pregnant. Also, the fact that he used my ribs as his own personal foot stool for nine months, and it hurt to stay in any position for longer than 5 mins at a time, didn't help any either. Another part I thought no one cares hes not being adopted. WHAT THE CRAP WAS I THINKING!! Of course you care! I should have been blogging about how miserable and long my pregnancy with him was from the start.  He deserves that time! If you were around me you heard about it but if you have been following our story its like "uhh..where did the baby come from?" Well, you see when a man and a women fall in love.....not going there :-) You know how the baby got there! 

What you do not know is this is a piece of Gods story and how it displays his perfect timeline. We received Isaiah's referral (referral= a picture and info of a child. We can accept or deny him) Dec. 22ish, 2012. A week before Christmas, is what I clearly remember. Our dossier (dossier= packet of paperwork, needed to process adoption; birth certificates, marriage license, homestudy, pictures of our family and home, ext) got in country around my moms birthday January 14, 2013. Our POA sent me a text said everything looked great and everything had been turned in to the courts. I remember it being like 2 days after we got that text we found out i was pregnant. Talk about an emotional person! I keep track of everything very well. So we figured the due date then, when I went to the Dr. he gave me the same due date. So I went back to see if it lined up with any days that I had recorded as "baby making days" and it did perfectly. Guess, when we got pregnant?!?!?! The same week we got Isaiah's referral! Nothing short of Gods perfect timing.  

At 5 months old here is the little man that turns me into a puddle of mommy moosh, every time he crinkles his nose and smiles at me. He is spoiled rotten. He is a mommy's boy, although he has been over looked in the blog, he won't let himself be over looked at home. He is very real, demanding and already keeps me on my toes. He is adorable, amazing, and I wouldn't trade our surprise, poop machine for anything in this world. I am slightly obsessed with him can you tell? Again, we have what we call a miracle baby. We thought we couldn't get pregnant and at Gods perfect time he gave us this amazing boy. God knew if we didn't have Isaiah's referral and paperwork complete there was a chance we wouldn't have continued the adoption process. Which would have never sent me to Ghana, we never found that orphanage, never started Sharing Shoes. You will get the details of all of that soon. You see Gods timing is perfect, and everything happens for a reason.

Bri is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G with him. She is so over protective. He doesn't leave her sight. I was very worried that she may be jealous or start throwing fits once he got here. Again, Gods timing is perfect, because we could not have asked for a better story. Logan has come smoothly into our family. As a mom of now 2 I already feel like there isn't enough hours in the day. I am learning to balance everything the best I can. I give Logan as much alone time as I can while Bri is school and try to focus on her in the afternoons when she gets home. Typically that consists of doing homework while I cook, then after Logan is bed for the night we snuggle up in my bed, we have secret time (we tell each other anything and its just between us) read our bible stories, watch a short movie, say bed time prayers and most of the time we fall asleep together. It's only about 2 hours but its our time. Its our routine.

Where will this sweet boy get his one on one time in our already crazy routine? Will Bri be as willing to share her snuggle time with him? I want this sweet boy home now! It's not fair he doesn't get to do homework with a mom...his mom...ME! I want to lay in the middle of my 2 big kids and read a bible story together. I wanna hear what he wants to pray about every night. What secrets will he share? Will he tell me that he prayed for us during our long journey? Will he pray to go back to Ghana? I'm not sure the answers to any of these. At this point if i am being honest, it's been a year since we past court and 6 months since we filed I-600, I am frustrated,confused on Gods doing and don't even know if he will come home. Is there anything to suggest that other than the Ghana government taking their sweet time, NO. Am I lacking confidence or faith at this point, yes and no. I am lacking confidence because i am the person when i want something i work hard, i make timeline and i meet goals. I made delay in our process, if i hadn't do that I'm almost certain he would home. Am I lacking faith absolutely not, NEVER. When I reread what I wrote I think I should delete because it sure sounds like I am. I can't delete it though, that's how i feel. Again, "I", 12 times in 2 sentences, "I" was used. This isn't about me and my goals, timeline, or how hard I have worked. God loves me without all this hard work. He sent his son to die for me. I don't have to anything other than honor, trust and believe in him. This is God's story, that has turned in a chapter book, that I have been blessed to be the main character of. Life is so busy, sometimes it takes sitting down and writing your thoughts to snap back into who's really in charge. There is a big picture, and I can not wait for it to be reveled. The big picture scares the crap out of me! I Know his plans may not be the same as mine, and that is scary. Looking back, pieces that i thought were lost, were just waiting to be connected with the right piece. Not lost just apart of a huge puzzle, that is taking time to piece together. If you read my blog from the start it's clear.                                              Proverbs 19:21

                        Many are the plans in a person's heart, 
                       but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.



Anyways, July 31, 2013 I mailed our I-600 off stateside. *I-600 is an application for the Ghana government approving our adoption. LAST STEP! Next blog will cover that process. See ya soon!